Saye Sangat Jeles!!!

perghhhh...perghhh...jeles okey...kenape jeles???sebab aku terbace ade satu blog budak ni...kenape jeles ngan die???sebab die belaja di korea kot!!!freakin KOREA!!!

dahlah aku nak sangat pegi Korea sekarang ni...tup tup die dapat gi dulu...heh, tapi layakla die pegi die pandai...aku???yang adoooo!!! tapi kan yang aku jeles tuh adelah sebab die dahla memang Kpop addict...pastu tup tup die dapat pulak pergi tempat idaman die...

n adakah kamu orang tahu bahawa die sudah melancong ke banyak tempat kat Korea tuh...semua tempat yg famous famous selalu keluar kat 2Days 1Night yang memang adelah aku suke gile gile... mahu aku tak jeles...aku cume dapat berangan-angan aje, padahal die dapat pergi sana pulak...huh jeles okey...

n the worst part is that die pergi ke KONSERT SUPERSHOW3 and SMTOWN concert...tahukah kamu bahawa saye ni sangat jeles dengan fakta itu...come onla, SUSHOW3 tu takpe lagi, sebab nanti ade kat Malaysia (tapi ade khabar angin akan di cancel) ...tapi SMTOWN concert tuh yg aku bengang...dapat tgk Shinee, SNSD n the others kot...woh, bengang bengang...sangat jeles dan berapi...

tapi takpelah, akan aku tabahkan hati n kuatkan minda...aku akan pegang teguh dengan angan-angan n cita-cita aku nak pegi belajar atau mengajar di Korea...akan aku belajar bahasa Korea dengan bersungguh-sungguh...thanks to this girl, aku rase aku ade harapan untuk jadikan impian satu kenyataan (pergh, sangat cheesy)...

dahlah, nak terus berangan...mari ke KOREA!!!

ps:sile check out blog die n jeles bersame-same...

day 6 : whatever tickles your fancy~~

hurmmmm...whatever tickles my fancy you say???alamak, macam susah aje kan...ermmm, takpelah aku cube...

mungkin arini kite perlu bercakap pasal orang pandai pandai...oopsss silap pasal orang 'pandai pandai'...kenape perlu inverted comma tuh???adelah fungsinye kan...

in my life, I meet lots n lots of orang pandai and 'orang pandai'...why must there be 2 orang pandai's you may ask...this is because there are 2 types of orang pandai in this world...

the 1st being a real orang pandai...mereka ni tak semestinya orang kaya-kaya atau orang jawatan besar ataupun orang yang selalu menang dalam sesuatu konflik...mereka ni kadang-kadang adelah orang yang nampak selebet aje...tapi bile kite selami and dalami (perghhhh, memang gelik) mereka ni, kite sendiri akan ternganga dalam kekaguman...diorang punye insight on things adelah yang terbaik, rasional dan bernas... tapi kenape mereka bukanlah orang yang selalu menang dalam konflik kalau diorang ade insights yang bernas??? sebab mereka adalah orang pandai yang tahu bile nak teruskan konflik and bile pulak mengalah dalam konflik yang remeh... mereka tak perlu sentiasa nak tunjuk mereka adelah orang pandai... kan???

lagi satu pulak adelah 'orang pandai'...aku letak kategori ni dalam inverted comma sebab mereka hanya layak berada dalam situasi ni...orang macam ni, insights diorang banyak aje yang betol, tapi satu masalah diorang...diorang ambil, ye AMBIL insights yang diorang rase diorang faham, and then pertahankan insights tu sehingga ke lubang cacing...kalau pon diorang fikir sendiri bende tu, diorang akan canang, ye CANANG bahawa mereka amat PANDAI....dirang TAK akan mengaku kalah dengan orang lain yang bercanggah pendapat sebab pada mereka, mereka SAHAJA yang betul... (perghhh, penat buat ayat skema la weh!!!!) ....

isu ni lah yang tengah aku bengang sekarang ni...RAMAI sangat manusia manusia perasan pandai tengah cube jadi 'orang pandai'...semua bende pon HANYA diorang aje yang tahu...orang lain macam sangat 'LOWLY' and tak layak tahu ape yang diorang tahu...and ape aje yang diorang perkatakan or perdebatkan adelah BETUL belaka and tiade lain yang betul selain ape yang diorang cakap...woooooh, ini sudah lebih...Fine korang tahu SEMUAnya...korang memang sentiasa UP TO DATE...tapi kan, pade orang orang macam aku yang didnt go 'ooohhh, aaahhh, wowwwww' pade ape yang korang cakap tu, memang je rase nak muntah bile korang start menunjukkan 'kepandaian' korang...tolonglah, dalam dunia ni pendapat pendapat kamu kamu n kamu tuh bukanlah EVERYTHING or ANYTHING pon... lepastu ade hati pulak nak bagi komen sinikal pada orang lain...oh please lah!!!korang sendiri adelah kosong jangan lah nak anggap orag lain adelah kosong macam korang...jadi rasional sikit boleh tak...memang macam tin kosong yang BISING!!!!

bende ni aka kes orang bengong menunjuk pandai, memang lah buat aku bengang kan...selain bengang ade gak rase kelakar...sebab face it lah kan, orang yang tunjuk pandai ni memang nampak pathetic sangat...kelakar sangat bile desperate nak dapatkan perhatian dengan care menunjukkan SEMUA nya pon diorang tahu...lepas tu compete dengan 'orang pandai' lain pulak untuk show off sape lagi 'pandai'... bile lah cycle ni nak berhenti kan... korang, sudahlah, janganlah tunjuk 'pandai' lagi...lawak okey...kesian korang nanti orang ketawakan...ke korang tak kisah digelakkan dari belakang???

dahlah, lebih baik aku sambung study...mari mari kite study~~

hurmmm...rindu giler la pulak ngan blogger kan...asyik sangat bertumblr and bertweet sampai aku ignore teros pade blogger kan...tapi malam, eh pagi ni tetibe jek rase nak menulis kat sini...rase macam dah lame sangat tak berblogging...

sekarang ni musim exam, and honestly, aku tak study...takot okey...sebab for the 1st time in my whole study life kat UPM ni, aku langsung tak sentuh some parts of the notes...LANGSUNG TIDAK!!! bukannye tak faham or tak boleh ingat, tapi LANGSUNG TAK BACE~~sangat scary okey...sem ni, ntah kenape and mane datangnye semangat tak abes bace notes tuh, berleluasa dalam diri...sangat la annoying!!!

tapi oleh kerana rase bersalah, malam ni takot nak tidur...walaupun lebih banyak online dr bace notes, at least aku takla bersenang lenang tidur jek kat atas katil...hummmm, risau gile okey...what if aku tak dapat maintain result??? tsk.. sangat la furious ngan diri sendiri...

entahlah, aku sekarang ni terlalu selesa sangat ngan situasi diri aku kot...sampai tak de keinginan untuk lari dari comfort zone...asyik sangat dengan dunie khayalan yang memang lah indah...ignore semue bende yang menyakitkan perasaan aku...sampaikan macam katak bawah tempurung jek terputus hubungan ngan dunia luar...

dahlah, aku rase aku dah merepek meraban jek ni...nak ciao dulu la...lain kali jekla wat post elok elok...

T_T

uish...lamenyer~~

lame jugak saye tak bermain dengan blog saye ni...perlu agaknye aku menulis entry hutang lapuk terpulih blog~~hurmmm, mungkin tidak lah kot...

betapa aku terlupa semangat berblog ni sejak due menjak ni..mentang-mentangle dah ade LJ and TUMBLR terus 'ter'lupe pasal blogger...ya ampun!!!!maafkan hambamu yang menderhaka ni...tapi seronok wooo ade tumblr...ingatkan sangat susah nak manage tumblr, tapi turns out kacang gile...rase mcm kanak-kanak 10 tahun pon bole buat dah...so sekarang ni, kalu ade rase nak meroyan or berlagak tak bertempat atau nak fangirling sampai muntah, instead of merapu di FB atau twitter, saye merujuk ke gerangan tumblr lah...memang je mudah addicted bile dapat reblog gambo-gambo mamat-mamat kacak dari korea ke dalam heeminsubaby.tumblr.com ~~~ name tu aku dapat dr my biases in korea la kan...teka la sendirik sape...malas i nak terangkan...LJ plak sangat jarang singgah sebab content die same jek mcm blogger...so it is a bit leceh la...cume LJ dijadikan lubuk berfangirling terlampau kepade OTP Korean saye...seronok jugek menggune LJ kadang-kadang~~~

okeyla, mahu membuat assignment bername Research Paper...so kene berundur diri lah ye...kalu rajin lawatlah tumblr saye...alamatnye sudahla diberi sebentar tadi...rajin-rajinkanlah cari ye~~~

It is This Day that I am scared of

ntahle....bile makin tue, sape je kan yg suke???tolong bagitau sape yang suke bile umur makin meningkat...memang hebat la kamu yang tabah n matang menghadapi umur yang meningkat...

tapi kenala bertabah kan...nak tak nak umur memang akan bertambah..masih teringat-ingat lagi aku buat post kat facebook "hello 20s, bye bye 10s" due tahun lepas mase aku baru masok alam 20-an...n 2 years later, here I am, UNCHANGED...still the same IMA that she is years before...

to say that I've become more mature, I'm not brave enough to say it...NO~~at times, I felt like I'm the most immature person in the whole wide world...tapi kadang-kadang, rase macam aku dah matang melalui sesuatu pengalaman...boleh bersabar n tak mudah melenting n manage to berfikir secara waras...entahla, 22 tahun aku hidup mungkin belum cukup menjadikan aku insan yang bergune, tapi at least I dont end up as rubbish... Thank you ALLAH for giving me a life yang sweet ni...setakat ni, KAU masih menyayangi aku n melimpahkan segala rezekiMU kepada aku, insan yang sangat LALAI dan ANGKUH dalam mengingatiMU~~Moga-moga umur yang meningkat ni menjadikan aku lebih RAPAT denganMU~~insyaAllah...and pade family aku yang tak pernah jemu memberikan aku kebahagiaan diselangi kedukaan...I cant get a better family than you guys...I cannot imagine my life without all of you by my side...I cant even grasp the idea of getting into another family except from you guys...

so what did I do on my birthday???well, I spent the whole day today at my room...feelings all mixed up...I get this 'emotions' for my birthday every year...rase macam emo sikit, sedih sikit, gembire sikit...bercampur-baur...tak tahu kenape...mungkin hormon wanita mule kicks in kot...huuu~~~and then around maghrib, as expected from ASIAH, die ajak gi Putrajaya...she and her 'little plan'...berlakon here and there...sedangkan before this dah plan awal-awal nak celebrate my birthday and Fila's birthday today...tapi die still hide behind the bush...well, okay, I'll play along~~so, cari punye cari tempat kat putrajaya, akhirnye sampai kat depan Bangunan Kehakiman...santek wooohhh~~~sumpah the scenery was breathtaking...they sang 'Happy Birthday' to me and Fila n we blow the candle...after that ape lagi, makanla~~~

the cake was awesome gilos...tiramisu YUMMY!!!!kitorang sume pakai topi birthday and just enjoy our time there...amek gambo n just have fun~~dahla ramai orang kat situ, tapi wat dunno jek la...

honestly, eventhough dah expect this celebration, the party was really AWESOME!!! entahle, maybe the fact that the time was spent with people that we really care about makes it more worthy...It is not the extravagant food or place nor the party itself but its the company...These people, the people that in the end will cheer you up after a HARD day...no matter what they did, how annoying some can be, these people are the ones that you can rely on...no, these people are NOT perfect...as do I...But their imperfection plus my imperfection makes the world go ROUND and ROUND~~~You gals can hate me, and I can hate you gals, but at the end of the day, we have to be with each other...maybe university friends dont last FOREVER, but these memories are the ones that I'll keep forever...

the small gifts that I know are are from the heart~~I will cherish it forever as it is deeply carved in my heart~~

SITI, ASIAH, FIZA, MUN, AD, MIRA n BIHAH thank you for making my 22nd and FILA's 24th birthday such a memorable one...be it not 100% nice, it was hella FUN!!!!!

Meminta Kebenaran...

Benarkan aku melayan perasaan~~sekejap pon jadila...sesaat due mungkin...atau lebih dari tu...boleh tak???hai la perasaan...kenape selalu sangat terbuai dengan rase sedih???tak larat la nak melayan...penat tahu???

dah dekat seminggu kot...semua dah diluah...ape lagi yang perasaan ni nak sakit-sakit???ke perasaan ni ade rase tak sedap pasal bende lain...adekah ini hint-hint yang perasaan bagi kat aku supaye meng'readykan diri menghadapi something yang more hurtful in the future???

susah melayan perasaan seorang RAHIMAH yang bercampur baur ni...bile dok melayan perasaan, mule la nak rase sedih sedu sedan...tapi bile ignore perasaan, dok mabok dengan KOREAN stuff...haish la~~~

tapi kan, ade bende pelik kali ni...even Korean stuff pon tak mampu nak menenangkan hati ni...dahla aku patut rase gembire dengan berakhirnye satu cabaran iaitu MICROTEACHING, aku patut enjoysssss!!!!tapi malang betol, rase gloomy mencengkam jiwe....WARGHHHHHH, rase mcm nak run 'AMOK' je sekarang...sebab tak paham dengan rase tak sedap hati ni...nak kate nak dekat PMS, lame lagi ku rase...tapi sekarang ni emosi memang macam CHOI!!!!annoying gile...nampak semue orang pon rase macam nak lempang laju-laju...GRRRR!!!!

sudahla...tak payah membebel lagi, baik pegi melagho...okie dokie!!!bubbye!!!ampun, sebab membebel tanpa arah tujuan...

Kemarahan Aku Bukan Dibuat-Buat~~

perghhh memang berasap la kan...sememangnyer aku ni cengeng tapi kali ni aku menangis bukan sebab aku sedih or what...tapi sebab MARAH!!!!!! emosi mmg unstable sgt kot... n thankfully post ni dibuat sehari due selepas peristiwa kemarahan itu...if not i dunno la kan perkataan mencarut apakah yg akan keluar dr mulut aku ni... n takot later i'll regret what i wrote n then delete this post pulak...yela menulis ikot emosi kan...

aku takde kene-mengene dlm hal tuh...ye ke???betol ke???abes tuh kenape ye aku, Siah n Fila tetibe rase kepanasan tuh memercik ke diri kitorang??? kitorang technically retarded ke??? tetibe je ke nak terase terasi~~~ah bersabarlah...

menunjukkan kebodohan???mungkin aku sedang menunjukkan kebodohan aku, tapi admit it, aku memang la kurang pandai...aku tak pernah kate aku pandai unless mase aku bergurau...kalau korang terpecaya mase aku bergurau ttg kepandaian aku, I AM SO SORRY that u r naive enough to be believing that...

ohmaigod....aku ni baik???baik ke aku???tolonglah!!!!tolonglah!!!!kalau pon aku ni baik, aku cannot ke jadi jahat ah????kamu n kamu n beberapa kamu lagi yg anggap saye baik, kenape???sebab saye diam???saye buat-buat baik???siapa suruh percaya dengan kebaikan tu...tak kan la senaif itu untuk melabel saye baik...

malangnye saye, walaupun awak awak telah menyakiti hati saye, saye masih beralasan bahawe awak awak itu adelah baik...saye masih ingat lagi kebaikan awak awak...cume ade masalah mental sikit...and saye cube jugak merelaxkan diri saye...

tapi tidak lagi...ye, tidak lagi...saye bukan orang yg baik untuk merelakan diri saye terus terusan disakiti...biarlah kamu kamu katekan saye tak ade kene-mengena hal ni, n kamu tak pernah sakiti saye, saye yang merasa bende tu semue...awak awak tak berada di tempat saye...saye yang tak pernah kacau hidop awak awak telah disakiti 'tanpa sedar' *like hell I'll believe that* rase saye memang tak akan berbaik-baik dengan awak tanpa alasan...biarla jike kite baik pon selepas ini, ia mungkin hanye atas alasan bermuke-muke...kan saye ni hipokrit....ahhhh sudala~~~

rahimah, bersabarlah...jadilah orang yang jahat jike itu yang terbaik untuk kamu~~~

Dunie oh Dunie~~~

Aku ni memang fikir dunie je kot...Haish~~~

Takot okey, aku sangat takot dengan perangai aku yg fikir pasal dunie aje ni...tak sanggup rase dah nak fikir bile aku akan berubah...Kesedaran tu setakat ni memangla ade, tapi amatla tiade perubahan kat diri aku ni...n honestly aku fikir, aku masih belum dapat hidayah dari Allah lagi untuk berubah ke arah yang lebih baik...lebih banyak buat jahat dari buat baik...lebih banyak main dari beribadat...tapi aku tenangkan hati, fikir senang je, Allah ade rancangan lain untuk aku...hurmmm...buat ape yang aku rase mampu dulu...tak payah la nak segan ngan orang yang buat lebih dr aku...sebab ape2 pon datang dari diri sendiri, bukan dari orang lain kan...so, aku berserah jela, moga-moga aku akan dapat menjadi manusia yang lebih baik...insyaAllah~~~

now, kembali kepada dunie kejap ea...based on my posting before korang nampak kan Kpopping addiction aku, aku join forum Kpop Idols la pulak kan...mmg takde keje cari keje betol...dahla banyak assignmentsssssss....Perghhhh takot bile fikir pasal assignments yang super menimbun tuh...

tapi kan, aku ade resolusi yang aku nak made official setelah penat fikir lame2...1stly aku nak bagi 2 tahun utk diri aku mengajar and then nak sambung masters...aku tak larat nak terus sambung after grad ni...so insyaAllah aku nak sambung kat obersea...kikikiki...*korea*

lepastu pasal kahwin...hurmmm, macam tak tau nak cakap...kalu ade, adela...kalu takde, takdela...jodoh, aku takde hak nak kate ape-ape...tapi aku bagi mase kat diri aku 6 tahun...if in that 6 years, I remain unmarried, I'll migrate...insyaAllah perfi somewhere yang aku boleh settle in n build a life...

entahla, aku tibe-tibe rase hebat bile fikir aku ade perancangan, in which a thing yang aku jarang-jarang buat...tapi what will happen on the future is still yet unknown...I can plan but only HIM can decide...

and I think I got to get something out of my mind...aku bosan kot dengan all this drama yang melingkari 'persahabatan' 'kite'...banyak inverted comma because I think bende tu sangat irony...'persahabatan' adelah something yang aku tak tau langsung ape maknenye, and I cant be bothered by what it means...kalau kite rase kite ikhlas nak berkawan, kawan jela...jangan ajar diri kite mengharap something in return...Alhamdulillah, aku dah terime kenyataan tu...siyes ni, aku dah tak kesah pasal ape-ape asalkan aku still dapat berkawan...ape pon situasi, awkward ke, tension ke, menyampah ke, tu semua adelah lumrah kot dalam berkawan...so we dont have to make a BIG deal out of it...penat okey mendengarnye...

n then comes 'kite'...aku ingat aku kawan semue...tapi bile ditinjau-tinjau, aku bukan rupenye...tak tahula berapa kerat yang betul-betul anggap aku kawan...

n for people to say that 'orang ambil kesempatan atas diorang' makes me wonder, dalam friendship ade istilah ambil kesempatan ke???aku memang suke mintak tolong...pade aku aku mintak tolong sebab aku dah cukup selesa dengan orang untuk mintak tolong, n kalu orang mintak tolong insyaAllah selagi aku mampu aku akan tolong...n 'tolong' ni bukan bermaksud aku ni sangat agung sampai orang kene berterima kasih bagai kat aku...aku pon tak kuase nak berterima kasih bagai kat orang yang tolong aku sebab aku fikir ni semua atas dasar friendship...so 'pertolongan' yang diharapkan tu bukan bermaksud ambil kesempatan kan???ke mende tu sebenarnye ambil kesempatan...perghhh konfius aku....

eh dahla, ade orang beraya ni...kenela pakai muke palsu palsi melayan tetamu...gelak sana gelak sini sedangkan hati???Tuhan je yang tahu, especially tetamu yang 'itu'...

ps: oh, rupanya aku ni jenis kawan yang macam itu...takpelah, u get what u preach kan...tula selama ni dok kate sangat itu yang ko harapkan, now ko dapatla kan consequences nyer...

my first badge

I made this for a forum I entered...hehehehe

UGLY???so what????

Berseronok2

hah...setelah abes bace my last post, maybe korang ingat dh abes fun la kot...well, not so true...ade lagi fun okeh...

the day after kitorang ber'iftar beramai-ramai kat Putrajaya tuh, kitorang decide nak buke kat tempat favorite kitorang kat bumi Serdang ni, 'KEMBANGAN PARADISE'...woot woot, lame kot tak pegi memakan kat situ...rinduuu~~~

kitorang consist of me, mun, ita, fila n siah sampai kat paradise around 6 la kot...tak ramai orang lagi tapi meja hampir penuh di'reserve...n berdasarkan pengalaman lalu, aku expect yg order kitorang mmg akan sampai lambat, lepas azan even...so bile meja2 reserve sume dah dapat makanan diorang, kitorang cume dapat air jela right before waktu berbuke...n after taking a sip or two aku, fila n mun g semayang dulu kat surau sebelah kedai tuh...bile kitorang sampai balik kedai, byk orang dh abes makan dh pon, n yet makanan kitorang belom fully sampai...well, mendidih gakla, tapi makan tetap makan...n yesd, it is simple n seems like usually done by us, tapi kitorang rase heaven jek bile dapat makan gitu...

this is one of the moment yg aku akan surely remember if aku dh kuar Upm ni nanti...so, as long as I can do it, I'll do it...

ENJOY!!

Berseronok1

Okey, sile abaikan my last rantings...

marila bercerita dgn ceria2...tidak, saye tak cube menjeleskan sape2 dgn bercerita ttg keseronokan yg telah saye alami...woi, nape gune 'saye'!!!!geli giler kot...

okey2...sudala melalut...kite sambong cite okey...macam yg aku ckp dlm post lepas, mase aku nk spend ngan kawan2 kat Upm adelah tinggal sikit sgt...n like I said, I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest...so I did~~~

oleh sebab aku, fila n siah were so freakin bored with just the 3 of us ber'iftar bersame or sometimes tambah Ita n sipi2 ade roomate Fila, kitorg telah decide utk menjempot para coursemates tersayang utk ber'iftar bersame2...so kitorang wat la invi ni...

at 1st nk buke kat Paradise aje, but setelah mengambil kira cadangan2 diorang yg lain, kitorg ended up berbuke kat Putrajaya instead...it was really nice...kitorang berbuke mengadap tasik sambil bergambar...n the best part is the latar belakang, which is a tasik with SUNSET!!!Sunset ok...sangat cantik n sangat memikat jiwa...pastu makan dalam kegelapan yg sangat lomentik beralaskan tikar yg Fahmi bawak...aku, Siti, Siah, Fiza, Fila, Fazzli, Amir, Fahmi, Wani, Huda, Mun, Mira, Biha n due adiknye mkn same2 makanan yg kitorg beli kat Bazar Putrajaya...n totally memorable la kot, sbb rase sgt tenang mkn kat situ, simple yet sweet...so I felt contempt that finally, kitorang bole enjoy something simple n just enjoy the moment...leave everything behind n just be happy...

tapikan, before this Iftar menjadi realiti ade gak konflik yg 'remeh' yet terkesan di hati...biasela, kalu bercakap pasal organizing in TESL MY BATCH mmg je disastrous...the fact that bende ni menjadi pon dah cukup baikla...at least takdela tinggal cakap2 kosong aje...thanks guys for making this memory together...

(ni bukan milik semua 15 org yer, hanye makanan kami berenam)

after kitorang dh kenyang makan banyak, kitorang pon menuju ke masjid besi Putrajaya...for the 1st time ok in our life at UPM...WOW kagum...cantek sesangat ya ampun~~~rase macam sgt impressed nagn buatan orang malaysia ni...rase mcm nk bergambar jek kat situ, tapi oleh kerana sume org nk g teraweh dh, kitorang batalkan niat tu...terus jek kitorang balik...

eh okeyla, panjang dah...akan disambung utk xtvt seterusnyer ok...

Saye Perlu Membebel~~~

oh sekarang ni sgt banyak bende dlm kotak fikiran aku...terlalu banyak sampai sesak sgt...so, aku rase aku perlu let it out...not all, just some of it...I feel like writing a post bot something dear to my life sekarang ni, tp masih takde mood, so I'll settle with this first...

Hurmmm, 1stly, I am constantly reminded yg I'm in final year of study...which mean aku dah takde banyak mase lagi untuk di'spend'kan dgn my dearest coursemates aku...suntuk sgt ok...tak sampai setahun je lagi...tolak kelas, balik kg, tido, makan n mcm2 lagi, time yg ade utk diluangkan ngan diorang adela mungkin 3bulan solid...HUH~~~sgt sikit kot...n honestly, the fact yg aku ni takdela rapat sgt ngan semua coursemates aku, made me feel bad...what if aku tak sempat kenal rapat semua kosmet2 aku???what if banyak lagi yg aku terlepas pandang dr kosmet2 aku...hmmm...aku takde jawapan utk persoalan tu...

mungkin aku patot berpuas hati je ngan keadaan skrg ni???dgn orang2 yg 'sudi' utk jadi kwan aku regardless of what had happen during this 4 years of study...lagipon, sebetol-betolnyer, my initial intention in befriending them is actually to have people to spend time with at this deary UPM...tapi, I got hooked I guess...Got carried away with all this friendship business...tp in the end, my sole wish is that I can be happy during this last few days I have in UPM~~~

sudala, malas membebel panjang2...nak raye dh kot...

saje2

well, i fell like i want to post this pic here...so here it goes...hehhe

Time to R.A.N.T

sitting alone in my room accompanied by songs played on my Pink Lappy, I felt empty...I tried to make myself busy...reading notes for upcoming test, making my semester's schedule and pasting it on the wall, doodling on my notebooks and also browsing through the net are some of the things I did to forget the emptiness...Why am I feeling this, I ask myself...I hope I dont find the answer, but it stares me right in front of my face...Hate it so bad...

I am so used to be accompanied by peoples that I despise the situation where I'm lonely...ALONE, is probably the most hated word by me right now...What does it mean to be alone???Being with nobody in a place is considered alone to some...Yes it is true...But the 'Alone'ness that I hate the most is when there are peoples around you but you feel empty...And this situation has been somewhat of a regular to me now...Yes when I'm with some friends, I feel contempt...But when the time where I'm left alone in the middle of a crowded place, I feel like running amok...Besides those friends, I felt empty...Not saying that friends are the whole world to me, but I cant help but feeling lost without friends...Boredom, Loneliness and Emptiness, why am I so scared of that???Isn't that normal???It should be normal right...

Now, I want to be strong...Easier said than done right...I just want to be home...I miss my friends...I miss the old days...I miss schooling time (I cant believe I actually miss my school time)...I might not always hang out with my friends, but whenever I'm left alone, I felt I can handle it...I used to be strong...Crying just when I cant handle it...There are painful memories, but I was made stronger by them...Now, I felt like crying everyday and every minute I think of being alone...SO mellow Ima...

a sudden post triggered by this post...Sorry...

ima tanpa internet..

kuang kuang kuang...streamyx rumah aku terganggu..nape???sebab tak baya bil okeyh...n sekarang tgh rase super helpless...rase nk hantuk kepale jek...
wuaaa...nak online...bkn nak fesbuk, sbb tu bley aku tgk kt fon jek...i want utube n nak download videos...uish, rase cm tak senang duduk jek takleh online...dhla goguma couple dh ade kt utube...tulun....
ok2 aku bg mase smpai esok je...hey streamyx,ko better fix urself by tomorrow morning or im gonna flip....u wouldnt like it if i do!!!

Penat~~

penat fizikal boleh aku tolerate...tapi penat emosi???macam mane aku nk hilangkan???jawab-jawab...

HUH!!tetibe jek kan...tak bagi intro ke ape, teros mengadu penat...Ima, Ima...ko ingat ko sorang je ke penat???well, memang super penat pon sekarang...nak tau kenape???meh aku list kan...

first sekali penat fizikal...kelas sem akhir neyh mmg agak berpuaka...memangla kelas cume ari isnin sampai khamis aje n plus takde kelas start pukul 8...tapi tahap kepenatannyer after class adelah tahap dewa-dewi okeyh...almost everyday pon nak balik malam2...kalu tak malam, dah lewat petang baru boleh jenguk bilik...HUH memang aje tercabar fizikal ku yg tak berape fit neyh...

n sekarang adelah bulan RAMADHAN, obviously aku rase tertekan sikit bile kene hadapi kelas plus kene berpuase...tapi, aku rase itu bukan alasan aku penat, in fact bile time puase neyh, rase ade mase sikit utk rileks2 time lunch hour...so conclusion nyer aku penat fizikal sebab kelas2 yg agak menjengkelkan...

n aku rase, aku malas nak include assignment n test dlm reason aku penat, sbb right now, aku tak prepare ape2 pon for these 2...

hah yg neyh plak penat emosi...hurmm..tak tau nak ckp macam mane...hal emosi neyh, mmg aje berjaye menjatuhkan aku...aku ingat bende emosi2 neyh dh lepas...aku ingat aku dh get over the feeling...tapi rupe-rupenyer, aku masih lagi emotionally retarded...aku masih lagi tak pandai kawal emosi...masih lagi nak nanges2 bile terase...n paling menyampah tuh, aku masih lagi ade nak terase-terase...orang lain dok enjoy life, aku dok menangis...budus okeyh...

hal lame...kisah lame...mcm tak payah ungkit2 lagi...tapi aku masih rase penat...ape maknenyer tuh???maknenye aku masih lagi hang on with the mindset of immature person...Cik Pah aka my lecturer kate, org yg dah get over what others feel and do and dont get affected by what others did adelah orang yg matang...n die expect students die sume dh matang2 dalam hal neyh...well, I got a news for Cik Pah, saye student Cik Pah yg masih childish...taktau nk kawal emosi lagi...

tapi satu jek yg aku pasti, aku dah tak mau nanges...even if aku nanges pon, aku nanges sbb aku rase aku neyh bodoh sgt sbb ade lagi perasaan needy tuh...kecewa ngan diri sendiri instead of kecewa pasal org lain...sudah-sudahla ima oi...get on with ur life...your life, hanye ko jek yg mampu lalui...pasal terase tuh, menunjukkan yg walaupun ko kate ko "malas fikir" sebenarnyer ko masih ade lagi perasaan pade other human being...

dah2, lets just be happy ek...

ps: ingat tak aku punye post before balik UPM yg aku akan meroyan pasal human relations once aku balik ke tempat puaka tuh...well, my instinct is SUPER kuat okeyh!!!

kehilangan MooD

Okay...admit it, aku lame kot tak tulis blog...walaupon takde pembaca or whatnot, aku tetap rase sengal hati bile fikir dah lame tak tulis blog...Kenape tak tulis???salah satu sebabnyer adelah ketiadaan connection...Arghhh malas fikir...

sebut pasal malas fikir, aku perasan lately aku selalu sebut ayat tuh...'Ahhh Malas Fikirlah'...Siyes, selalu sangat sampai rase bosan dengar ayat tuh dr mulut sendiri...Aku ni mmg nak jadi some1 yg memang malas fikir ke???taktaula, sebab rase sekarang ni bile ade jek probs atau konflik yang singgah kat fikiran, aku teros ade fixed mindset bahawe aku takmau fikir pasal bende tu...ESCAPISM???maybe la kot...

so sekarang ni, aku masih nak berpegang pade prinsip malas fikir tuh n just continue life one step at a time...Biarla ape pon orang nak kate, aku ade life sendiri kot...orang lain pon ade life masing2 so, aku malas fikir pasal diorang if diorang pon malas fikir pasal aku...aku nak suka2 aje...marila kite suka2 kawan2...

Geram...Geram...

Geram gile ok...rase macam ade asap berkepul-kepul jek keluar dr hidong diselangi some puffs of fire...kenape geram???sebab takdapat OnlinE langsong kot~~~ye, aku ni memang hantu online di rumah, tapi aku sedar jek diri bahawe aku takdela nak online sepanjang mase kat UPM sinun...tp masalahnyer adelah, tak sesaat pon aku dapat online kot kat sane...so the reason I'm complaining sekarang adelah kerana aku stress tak bole online...

atleast aku nak gakla online tgk2 facebook or maybe tweet something kan...tapi berapi jek rase bile langsong takleh nk bukak ape2 webpage...bukanla aku expect nk tgk youtube mcm yg aku wat kt rumah, tp atleast, kalu aku rase nk surf the web for gossips ker bolehla aku just klik je kat lappy aku ni...tp ni, asek2 bengang jek bile tgk ade connection, tp online???takleh harap langsong...

n aku sgt2 reluctant nk pakai broadband...siyes, tak terdetik pon nk pakai broadband tuh...rase mcm not worth it sgt2...so aku harap within this week, adela connection uspot kt kolej...malas dh nak fikir pasal kebengangan takleh online...HUH!!!

HaRi KelimA

ermmm...

"One Can Never Consent to Creep When One Feel an Impulse to Soar"

Baek punye favorite quote~~~actually xdela favorite sgt pon quote neyh...tp oleh kerana aku hidop tanpa menyukai quoe2 yg best, make aku pilih jek quote neyh~~~

aku dpt quote neyh from the lovable SEOBABY~~

pade aku quote neyh makna die, kite tak boleh nak mudah puas hati ngan ape-ape je yang tengah terjadi kat diri ni sedangkan kite sendiri tahu yang kite boleh jadi lebih dari tu...emmm macam pening la pulak kan...tapi yela, fikir camni jela, kononnye akula, sekarang kan belajar nak jadi cikgu cikgi...tapi aku tahu aku ade keinginan lain untuk buat dalam hidup aku ni...well, my lifelong goal adelah aku nak duduk kat luar negara...be it in the USA, Korea or in the Saudi Arabia (ye, mmg aku macam berangan lebih, so WHAT??)...so sebagai manusia yang memang ade angan angan ni, aku tak boleh la 'Consent to Creep' with just being a teacher kat Malaysia ni for the rest of my life sebab aku ade 'Impulse to Soar' aka nak pergi migrate...

jadi ape yang aku perlu buat kawan-kawan???ape??? takpe takpe jangan risau ye kawan kawan...aku dah ade rancangan...aku dah ade vision (PERGHHH GELIKGILE) ape rancangan tu???adela, mane boleh gitau...nanti nanti akan adalah post berkenaan itu...jangan risau lah ye~~~

okla, nak cau cin cau dulu...bubbyeee!!!!

mari pulang ke sana~~

ah...gloomy nyer rase~~nk balek UPM suda...waaaaaa malas nyer rase...dh mmg adat aku, asal nk balek UPM jek rase mcm nk tercabot nyawe...pastu start rase homesick sgt2...huuuu~~~

arini aku rase my few months home adelah sgt terwasted...xwat pape except online n lying around the house...huh!!!sgt melalaikan n membosankan...tp aku enjoy jek...hehehe

so isnin neyh atau lebih tepat lagi, esok, start la rutin aku sebagai seorang pelajar tahun akhir kt Upm tuh...aku bkn lagi freshie yg innocent n xtau pape...dh knal kosmet luar dlm, n masak sgt ngan perangai my 40 dearest kosmet...walaupon xrapat ngan sume, aku tau diorg punyer personality, hands down!!!n on my final year neyh, klas 1st akan dimulekan ngan 'dearest' cik pah...ahhh xtau nk komen pe...just go with the flow jelah...hate or love is just a feeling I can totally hide...hehehe

dhla, aku nk enjoy my few last moments kat umah neyh...bye bye 2 months of leisuring, hello 4 months of studying!!!!

Darah Saye~~

aku tetibe jek nk wat entry pasal bloodtype...ntahla, lepas bace entry aku mase kelas drama dulu n pastu tringat cite UKISS Vampire, tros rase ‘Oh! aku patut explain diri aku based on my bloddtype.’

Sebabnye adelah aku rase aku neyh sgt serius at certain time smpai nmpak mcm sgt super skema...aku ngaku mmg aku camtuh...kdg2 aku kepoh sgt konon nk wat yg terbaek (KONON) n piker something terlalu mendalam n nmpak mcm sgt annoying...

aku xdela nk kate aku percaya 100% pasal analisis diri based on blood type neyh, tp aku percaye bahawe siket2 kajian yg dibuat utk dpt analisis neyh, pasti ade yg betolnyer...mule2 pade yg wonder apekejadahnyer UKISS Vampire tuh, kat sini aku ade bubuh 1^st episode cite tuh, g la cari kt Youtube kalu nk lagi...

well, puas hati??? Dah, jom kite bace cket kajian pasal org2 yg berdarah jenis ‘A’...aku lah orgnyer...

“Type A blood types are defined as farmers. They are considered conventional in all that they do. They are considerate to other people, and find it hard to tell lies. Loyalty towards friends and co-workers is another trait. On the downside they can be secretive. This means they don’t often share their feelings, and can become insecure and pessimistic. Apparently, once they’ve had a few drinks they can turn into nasty pieces of work.”

(http://www.allsands.com/health/bloodtypeperso_zud_gn.htm)

· Reserved calm, even tempered, introverted, sensitive to public opinion, responsible, reliable

· even tempered and takes charge when others are in confusion

· may be introvert or standoffish or shy

· may feel nervous or ill at ease with others

· sensitive to surroundings and others

· hesitant to change

· may feel misunderstood

· may shy from group

· nature lover

· prefers suburbs away from crowds

· needs a private space for refuge

· may be accused of being pessimist because of fear of change

· many are artists or creative types due to sensitivity

· craves success

· tasty served with any vegetable

(http://webhome.idirect.com/~kehamilt/typa.htm)

Ok, agak scary sebab hamper sume analisis neyh kene kat batang idong sendirik...lebeyh2 lagi yg aku dh bold kan tuh...1^st skali adelah secretive...okeyh, aku mmg sgt secretive okeyh...kat blog neyh jek aku rant like crazy...kalu kat real life, HARAM la aku nk bgtau kat org ape masalah aku...siyes, bkn xpercaye kat org tp rase cm masalah aku neyh sgt remeh but at the same time mcm memalukan diri sendirik...n I can assure you that none of you yg tau atlis 80% pasal diri aku...n don’t feel bad, aku rase family aku sendirik pon only know like 70% of me...aku xsuke ckp ngan org pasal diri aku n lebeh xsuke kalu org ckp pasal diri aku...tp aku xkesah org nk cite pape kat aku...I’m more than welcome to that...

Shy n needs private space for refuge tuh mmg sebati ngan aku...well, maybe it is associated ngan fizikal aku, n also because aku neyh secretive...so kalu aku rase pape, aku lebeyh suke dok sorg2 n just cry my heart out...aiseh, benci gak ngan diri sendirik kadang2...

Xsuke perubahan n pesimistik plak aku rase mmg dh kene antare satu same laen...aku rase kalu aku cube wat something new, aku might end up failing...thats y aku rase aku lebeyh suke hidop aku the way it is...xsuke langsong ade slight difference in my life...for example, mase cuti neyh...aku malas gile nk g kuar jalan2 sbb ntah, mcm mengganggu jadual hidop aku...haish~~~

Tp korg jgn la risau lebeyh2...aku bkn all the time siyes n mcm nk mkn org...like the analysis said ‘once they’ve had a few drinks they can turn into nasty pieces of work’...aku mmg akan be the most craziest person you have ever met kalu my right mood n emotions are in the right time...HuH~~aku suke hepi...sape xsuke kan...so, seboleh-bolehnye aku nk enjoy hidop aku yg dull n boring neyh...so aku arap korg akan ade utk enjoy dgn aku jugak!!!

ohye, kalu korg nk tgk analisis darah korang g la kt laman web yg aku bg tuh...pandai2 r cari sendirik...gugel jek...

KIM HYUN JOONG

Credits to http://tvzonebbs6.media.daum.net/+ (Chinese translation) 爱@ Gelzo + (English translation) s2rene@lovekimhyunjoong.com

http://yenhersheytriples.blogspot.com/

"That man that the Samsung staffs called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’ (Samsung Card Activity Fan Account)

I neither am someone who has come to this place and post nor thought that I would actually post such things. I was incidentally chosen for Samsung Card, as someone who had spend more than an hour with this man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’, I would like to share with everyone what I had seen with my very own eyes about this commoner called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’.

First: ‘I’m eating with my fan hence I don’t want to receive money.’
Normally for Samsung, the participating fan would have to pay the activity fees, since it is after all an ‘Eating with Kim Hyun Joong ‘activity, but this man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong rejected it and expressed that he just wanted to eat with the fan, just come, don’t need to pay such fees.

Second: ‘Just want to meet with fan comfortably and happily without being watched by the reporters and the cameras’
Since he’s a star, Samsung thinks that there should definitely be reporters and the cameras. When asked about his thoughts on whether there should be recording, this man called Kim Hyun Joong expressed that he just want to chat comfortably with the fan, be happy and have fun, because it’s awkward to just sit quietly hence would like to play some interesting games.

Third: ‘I have no problem with the time hence would like to play games, I don’t have other schedules so it’s okay’
The game took longer than excepted, hence more than an hour had passed. As a result, the host expressed that the game should stopped, but this man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’ while someone was looking at the watch expressed that he’s fine, because being with fan is very interesting, hence would like to continue, the Samsung staff was surprised and said that she/he always thought that to star, time is money.

Fourth: ‘I like military tanks…would like to have one’
When it’s time for the fan to ask question, the fan asked what kind of car does he like to drive. Perhaps fearing to give a misleading answer, he thought in silence for a moment. This man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’ replied that he would like but unable to drive a military tank. The Samsung Staff said that it’s very 4-Dimensional and at the same time very thoughtful. (Note: Anyone who is a fan of star will know that when any star said he likes something, as a fan who likes him, she will try her best to buy what he wants and give it to him, hence Kim Hyun Joong gave such answer.)

Fifth: ‘From now on, my aim is to give a free and happy concert, one where fans need not pay money’
When asked what aim he has for the future, without any hesitation, this man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’ said his reply. It’s not to become a Hallyu star nor be a world star but let the fans not to worry over money and happily watch concert as his aim. This man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’. The Samsung staff said that he’s really someone who cares for the fans.
Even though I’m someone who knows Kim Hyun Joong, knows SS501 for a short period, this activity of which I was incidentally chosen, allowed me to see this commoner side of Kim Hyun Joong of which made me feel even more delighted.

Even though I don’t know a lot of details (due to the time of being a fan), that day, what I had seen and felt of this man called ‘Kim Hyun Joong’, he’s not like what everyone is saying, he’s not someone who will abandon his members, wants to disband(SS501),choose(new) company due to money. Even the ones who host this activity felt the same and expressed that he’s very good man. Before Kim Hyun Joong and the other members have officially announced their disbandment, before they have spoken about this, everyone should believe (them) more than me. Having supported Kim Hyun Joong for so long, those criticisms of him, it isn’t late to say it after we know the truth right. As someone who works as a nurse at one of Kang Nam’s hospital, I have seen many stars who came to see doctors, (realised that) stars are ordinary people too who will bleed when they’re injured. If this thread is an opportunity to make people understand Kim Hyun Joong more, it is allowed to be moved to any places, hope that more people will know. Even up to now I still feel very thankful to them because I got to know Kim Hyun Joong and SS501.Because I was not a fan then hence didn’t know where to write this account. Hyun Love (ID)."

Benarkan aku rase sedeyh for a while???Leader...org yg at 1st aku rase marah bile denga gosip ss501 nk disband...n totally like this article written by a lucky fan, aku xkenal ss501 selame other tripleS, n aku xkenal leader selame org laen...n honestly aku bkn lagi a big fan of leader for a while sejak aku suke Suju n Ukiss...tp this kind of stuff just make your heart melt kot...the essence of leadership n most importantly the essence of humanity sgt tebal dlm leader yg agak sengal neyh...

n like the writer wrote, lets just be a fan yg support dorg,esp leader yg probably tgh lalui one of the most difficult hurdles in his life...kite xde hak nk marah kat die without us being in their position...

now...lets sing LOVE YA altogether...n oppa, I dedicate this song to u to enjoy...yeah, it is of SUJU n I did it to share the love I have for ALL KPOP artist...n my love is enough for ss501, SUJU n all~~~

there cant be 'no other' ss501~~

4HARI

lame btol aku xusik 30 days project aku kan...ntahla...aritu punye la semangat, tp atas sbb2 yg annoying, aku stop...adela beberape occasions yg menyaketkan ati aku...n yeah~~~I'm not an obsessed Kpop lover yg hidop mati hanye pikir pasal Korea...siyes...itu hanyelah aku punyer escapism from the real world...n thrust me, aku akan balek ke dunie sebenar bile aku balek upm...xcaye???nnt tgkla bile aku kat upm, mesti meroyan bende2 yg mmg realistik...pasal human relation, human feelings and very much human frustration...soo...as for the time being, biala aku enjoy dgn life aku yg mmg kat alam fantasi...

okeyla, straight to the point, day 04- your favorite book...haa~~~as usual la kan, aku mesti tulis blog neyh tanpe mindset yg fix about my favorite...siyes, xtau nk pileh buku mane yg aku paling suke...hurm ade several buku yg pade aku masih kekal dlm minda aku even till now...typical Ima kan...hmmmmm...

tapi aku decide nk pilih satu jek...buku 'the sleeping doll' , 'rahsia perindu' n 'ombak rindu' sume terpakse aku tolak tepi...so here it goes~~

kalu xjelas tajok buku neyh, ia adelah Heidi by Johanna Spyri...buku neyh xdelah hebat mengalahkan segale buku dlm dunie neyh...plot die super simple...sweet n just nice...

kalu nk bagi summary buku neyh, aku rase baek korg g tros ke link neyh... http://www.jandysbooks.com/children/heidi.html

kat situ ade sikit summary pasal buku neyh, kalu nk tau penoh2 korg g la bace sendirik...

aku xbeli pon buku neyh...dpt kat sekolah...mase tuh library sekolah aku ade buang buku2 yg dorg rase dh lame2 n xgune lagi...so bersepah-sepahla buku kt kaki lima library tuh...oleh kerane aku sbg bdk form 6, ofkosla rapat ngan cekgu libarary kan...dhla library tuh sebelah jek klas kitorg...so, aku n beberape kwn pon g la tgk2 buku2 kat situ, byk gile buku yg bes2...even makalah die pon sume bes2 n very informative...tp oleh kerane bdk2 neyh lagi laju dr aku, aku dpt 1 jek buku...n it is called 'Heidi' lah...

aku amek mase setaun gak nk abeskan buku neyh...xtau nape...aku mmg slalu cmtuh, kalu bace buku yg mmg bkn intention aku nk beli mmg akan stuck punye...slalu dh gtu...unless buku tuh aku mmg dh aim nk beli, aku akan procrastinate bace buku tuh slame yg mungkin...the same case goes to Heidi...

Buku ni super sweet okeyh...die pasal heidi yg at first umor 5 tahun dh kene tinggal kt atas gunung ngan atok die...cube bygkan korg mmg bdk bandar n tetibe jek kene tggl kat 'uncivilized' place...kite slalu ingat kite mesti xkan survive kalu kite neyh end up stranded kat somewhere yg kite xbiase...it is the case of Heidi at 1st...as bdk2 mane la nk besekan ngan countrylife yg sgt2 limited...just imagine la kite neyh ibaratnyer xde tv, lappy, handphone or whatnot...tggl Heidi neyh bdk kecik la, die xde lagi sume material2 tuh...tp kite cube kaitkan jugak ngan hidop kite okeyh???

with minimal basic needs mcm makanan, minuman, baju n tempat berteduh, Heidi end up enjoying the life with her atok in the mountain...aku sgt tersentuh n amazed bile Johanna describe Heidi mkn roti with freshly perah goat milk n some cheese...aku rase mknn tuh very basic, but in the end that is what Heidi misses the most...n bile die naik mountain ngan kambing2 yg atok die bela, it seems so pure n honest n aku rase aku skali ade kt atas gunung tuh...

siyes, cite xberat n sgt soothing...tp aku cant get over this book sgt...it shows that the simplest things in life can be the best things in our entire life...we have to learn to appreciate our life n just live it to the fullest...boleh ke aku nk imply bende neyh dlm idop aku???siyes xtau...tp aku akan cube...like this korea thingy la, aku cube enjoy bende neyh sbb aku tau aku akan lalui perasaan yg xbest in the future...so slagi sempat, baek aku enjoy kan???merepek~~~

okeyhla, dh dulu for now...eh cube la korg bace cite classics neyh...kalu beli gune Penguin Classics, mesti dpt murah jek...n lagipon xtebal langsung...korg bace smbil minum ptg...

oh BTW BEAST is the B2ST...starting to like them...suke sgt minat org yg baru jek blah dr Malaysia kan aku neyh...

Emo

aku sengih jek sorg2 bile bace post sebelom neyh...oh Ima, ko neyh addicted sgt dh neyh...nk wat camne kan...terlajak lori bole direverse, terlajak suke susah nk benci!!!(xsedap langsong okeyh perumpamaan tuh)

hurm, termasok arini aku dh seminggu menjadi godmother pade 4 ekor cicing yg super degil n suke gigit tgn aku...mak die dh mati, so as 3 weeks born babies, mereka perlu disusukan...n almost a pack of milk dh nk abes dh kt umah aku...they had to be feed 4 times daily...n kalu mule2 nk abeskan satu piring susu pon mcm nk mati aku suakan susu kt mulut mereka...skrg senang2 jek suku teacup cicing tuh boleh abeskan...haish...sian tp kat cicing tuh sbb xde sape nk bersihkan n jilat bile bdn die kotor...si Marsha tuh bole plak wat derk jek bila cicing tuh kat dpn mate die...geram2!!!

tp siyes sian cicing tuh, nnt sape nk ajo die bersihkan diri n jadi more cat-like...xde mentor dh...tp aku cube wat ape termampu jela for the sake of bagi mereka minum susu...n hopefully bile die dh besa siket n dh bole mkn, aku nk mak aku belikan die frieskies or whiskas for kittens...hehehe

tp skrg, honestly, aku xleh nk tgk langsong pics or videos bout animals whether yg kiut miut or yg sedey2, sbb kat umah aku skrg ade 4 ekor cicing yg kiut miut tp ade life yg sedeyh...haaish~~~

dhla...actually aku xmau emo2 lagi...tp teremo plak tibe2...hehehe...aku nk ceria2 aje...xmau pikir yg xbes2 lagi...hehehehe...

Mode: mendownload Bi-shi , Hyori unni, Hara n Joon oppa's vid...hepi2!!!!

ss501~~sarang!!

AWAS!!SUPER PANJANG!!!N ANNOYING!!!

I am n addicted KPOP lovers!!!well that is not new right???n adekah korg tahu siape yg menjebakkan aku dlm dunie korea???sile jawab kalu tahu...xtahu ker???bia aku bagitahu, orgnyer adelah NURHAFILAH n SITI AMINAH!!!dorg ajak aku explore Kpop n eventually aku jd independant Kpop lover...hahahaha

n the source of my love to Kpop initially is SS501...aku stat realize dorg after tgk WGM...tp before tuh tgk jek Boys Over Flower...n sah2 aku kutuk abes-abesan HYUNJOONG aka leader ss501...kutuk abes2 lah...then Fila everyday akan dengar lagu Love Like This by them n at the time honestly, I dont really care for them...n siap gelak2 lagi bile Fila suke ngan Kyu Jong yg pade aku tah pape jek...tp subconciously, aku Ternyanyi gak lagu tuh, yela ari2 kot denga!!!kat bawah neyh ade aku letakkan video lagu tuh...sebenarnyer aku nk ltak yg parody sbb sgt lawak tp, let the nice memory of ss501 jek ade kat post neyh ok...

tp bile aku tgk WGM, ohmaigod...teros jatoh cinte selame sebulan terhadap leader Hyunjoong...n apelagi tros kene bambu ngan Fila...yela dulu kate kat die apela minat leader kt Boys Over Flower...mcm xde kelebihan n sgt2 pelik sbb pade pandangan aku die super xhensem...tp fila still ckp die ade senyuman yg sweet...ntah pape jek...nah sekarang aku plak minat die...padan muke!!!n walaupon aku kate aku neyh anti Lettuce couple iaitu due makhluk di bawah neyh, leader n luvly wife Hwangbo, aku actually kagum n jeles gile kat dorg...slamber yet so sweet...n because of that jealousy tulah aku ckp xsuke ngan dorg...huhuhuh...tp siyes bile aku tgk cite We Got Married dorg, aku gelak lawak dorg, aku jeles ngan Buin yg terer masak, aku suke tgk Leader romentik n aku nanges bile dorg berpisah sbb Leader busy...(foreshadow okeyh, because leader's commitment pade lakonan makes him leave one of the best thing yg happen to his life)...aku sgt addicted to their show n thought nothing will top their fake marriage...nasebla I was proven wrong coz ade pengganti die iaitu Goguma couple...hehehe...okeyh2...not talking bout those...

n the rest is HISTORY...aku teros minat gegilean pade ss501...even more than SUJU sbb mase tuh cume tahu pasal ss501...ari2 kalu bleh tgk video ss501 kt youtube n ct plak mesti carik video Kyu Jong die...lawak2...n ntah bile, aku terjatoh cinte dkt Jung Min n hilang dh rase cintan cintun terhadap Leader...n Jungmin oppa is my Number 1 Bias in Kpop...even before Heechul oppa tau...suke gile ngan kegilaan Jung Min n aku totally xingat the 1st reason aku suke kat Jung Min...oh oppa...lame2, die jugak became some others favorite...hehe...he is just so lovable kan...

n then aku mule suke kat baby Jun...syg gile ngan die yg kiut miut..kiut kan die???ohye gamba bwh neyh la die (the 1 wearing white shirt)...the other guy tuh lagi aku syg...lets not talk bout him here okeyh...tp siyes, muke die yg sgt comel n perangai die yg cm BABY mmg sgt sweet...kalu bole amek die n simpan dlm kocek, huh mmg jek aku dh buat...tp in reality die sgt abg2 n sgt mature jek...just for the fact die adelah baby in ss501, die ade privilege utk mengade-ngade...hihihi

at 1st, sume org xpandang langsong saengi as fav...tp ntah kenape lpas denga lagu Find, kitorg sume teros menyayangi die sepenoh ati...he became everybodys' fav...n ini adelah terbukti kerana kitorg pnah wat poll between aku, Ct, Fila n Siah, n Saengi menang 1st place tau...die sgt comel...our prince yg suke senyum n suke wat muke cute...how can we ever hate you sayang...look at that face, n tell me how the hell am I suppose to hate him...even ade rumor yg die pnah ade love triangle with eunhyuk of Suju n another girl, he is so lovable n super cute to be blamed...

thanks to dis song lah...suare die sgt sedap n memikat kami semue...OST Boys Over Flower...n btw, aku totally hafal lagu neyh!!!I can totally sing along though u might not get what the hell I'm pronouncing...kuikuikui

n walaopon aku xdela suke ngan kyu jong, I have to admit die ade sore yg bes n agak kacak...tp hurm...nice guy is just not my style...hehe...papela KIM KYU MIR!!!die lawak actually, tp ntah nape aku rase every time die ckp pasal diri die, aku rase nk tutup lappy or just fast forwardkan jek part die...tp like I said before, Ct is CRAZEE over him...n the most cute part is our coursemate Amirrudin, he is like a reincarnation of Kyu Jong...n thats when Kim Kyu Jong became Kim Kyu Mir!!!hahahaha lawak okeyh...

tp this past month, aku terime berite yg amat2 sedeyh bout this beloved group of mine n my friends...dorg ade possibility utk disband...OMG!!!aku ingat ngan kemunculan semule dorg, with LOVE YA akan activate dorg smule, but sadly, that was not the case...oppa, dont cover your face!!!

aku terkejut kot bile ade gossip bout them being disbanded...belom disband tp aura tuh sgt kuat!!!mmg jek aku pasan when they were talking SHIT mase fanmeet...nanges2 n talking how they had put tripleS' aka dorg punyer fanclub down because xwat promotion lame2...n the fact yg dorg xyakin dorg will stay forever as ss501...aduh!!!perlu ke ckp mcm tuh...tp at that time, aku rilek jek...refuse to fikir yg bukan2 n just wait for them to sambong kontrak n u know, just b ss501!!!

tp the latest news neyh wat aku sedeyh campor geram...sume ade...geram kat leader yg tuka company...sedeyh kat saengi n Kyu Mir sbb dorg xde arah...n rindu pade Jungmin n baby...tp yela...dorg ade life n career yg dorg nk pursue...haish...

I dont want to put the blame on leader just because die sambong kontrak ngan syarikat laen utk pursue die punye acting career (just like what happen when he is with Hwangbo)...tp a bit disappointed lah...but then, it IS his own life we are talking bout...xkan nk ckp ngan die u must be with ss501 forever n not pursue that acting career of yours...

n wat d hell plak to news yg kate DSP xmau sambong kontrak with Kyu Jong...yeah, I know he is not everyones liking but honestly, without him, wat become of ss501...come on la...think thoroughly kot...before, I was quite lega with the fact yg ss501 neyh under DSP media coz dorg bkn under SM ent or JYP ent, yg mmg skrg tgh hangat pasal Hankyung of SUJU n Jay 2PM...skali tup tup dorg rupernyer lagi terok kot...sbb senang2 jek nk lpaskan one of their precious son yg dorg dh kerah for 5 years n now buang n because of what???xlayak ke die???for 5 freaking years dh die kerje keras...still xlayak???atlis SME n JYPE tuh xsewenang-wenangnyer buang hankyung or Jay...in fact, Hankyung n Jay yg decide xmau ngan company tuh lagi...tp DSP???OMG!!!geram!!!

honestly aku arap diorg stay together...tp ntahla...haish...tp kalu dorg stay pon, they will not be the same...dorg ade own priorities yg mmg diorg kene wat...hanyer dorg yg perlu decide whether dorg still nk be a ss501 or just go solo...it is all in their hands...precious hands yg dh hold each others for 5 years...

n who am I to tell them what to do...just because I'm a fan, I cant decide on their life, RIGHT???how can I???it is their life, dorg yg hidop dlm life tuh...their future is in their hands n not MINE...dorg yg wake up every morning n face the decisions yg dorg dh wat...love it or not, dorg yg decide...

kite???sokong dorg n be a good person...no need to be mad OR be a crazy fan yg hate the artist just because of this bump in their life...buang jaoh2 rase marah n just be happy with whatever they choose to decide...siyes...aku xmau jadi fan yg go nuts marahkan either side, coz it will be a waste on my part...penat pikir the best solutions tok dorg, siyes, aku asek la pikir what are the best options to them, tp mcm xgune kan...bknnyer aku yg akan tentukan what they are suppose to do...so~~HuH~~I am left speechless~~

ntahla...in my heart SS501 forever as 1????!!!!!hopefully Yeah...

MODE: BERSEDEY!!!!n I told u it will be long...Annoying atau x, terlambat utk menyesal kan...