Time to R.A.N.T

sitting alone in my room accompanied by songs played on my Pink Lappy, I felt empty...I tried to make myself busy...reading notes for upcoming test, making my semester's schedule and pasting it on the wall, doodling on my notebooks and also browsing through the net are some of the things I did to forget the emptiness...Why am I feeling this, I ask myself...I hope I dont find the answer, but it stares me right in front of my face...Hate it so bad...

I am so used to be accompanied by peoples that I despise the situation where I'm lonely...ALONE, is probably the most hated word by me right now...What does it mean to be alone???Being with nobody in a place is considered alone to some...Yes it is true...But the 'Alone'ness that I hate the most is when there are peoples around you but you feel empty...And this situation has been somewhat of a regular to me now...Yes when I'm with some friends, I feel contempt...But when the time where I'm left alone in the middle of a crowded place, I feel like running amok...Besides those friends, I felt empty...Not saying that friends are the whole world to me, but I cant help but feeling lost without friends...Boredom, Loneliness and Emptiness, why am I so scared of that???Isn't that normal???It should be normal right...

Now, I want to be strong...Easier said than done right...I just want to be home...I miss my friends...I miss the old days...I miss schooling time (I cant believe I actually miss my school time)...I might not always hang out with my friends, but whenever I'm left alone, I felt I can handle it...I used to be strong...Crying just when I cant handle it...There are painful memories, but I was made stronger by them...Now, I felt like crying everyday and every minute I think of being alone...SO mellow Ima...

a sudden post triggered by this post...Sorry...