HoLiDaY!!!

being here...at HOME has put me to rest...

no longer do I have to put up with this nonsense connection in college...damn...thinking of the connection makes me roar with anger...hehehe

I cant wait for 19th June...I really hope to see my babies...UKISS babies...damn...I have to go alone as all my friends r home already...but honestly, I'm scared that I wont be able to go without company...Haish~~~

But still I'm like 70% wanting to go...bringing who as partner is still vague but oh...I WANT TO GO.!!!

Hell,! I am planning 2 buy a guitar...n strum it like like crazee...

Honestly, I will buy 1 n just learn to play ARIGATOU by CNBLUE...Hope to make it...

n yeah...my lifelong hope D.I.E.T.T.I.N.G I am gonna try...succeeding is unknown though...

ps: I lost my soul in writing this blog...this post is to be read emotionless, as I wrote it without any feeling~~~

Daaaaa.....

to say I'm ADDICTED is an understatement~~

it's my new PASSION~~~

aku sgt suke n sayang pd mereka neyh...xtaula bile aku akan stop gilekan dorg~~

Mis COmmuNicTioN....

I m not Mis Commnication...Why u ask?? Coz I m bad at commuNICATING...Huh~~No surprise la kot...

to me in communicating yg the most kite buat day by day is to goSSIp...ituh penting...The Second is small talks...share new upcoming events dlm life kite, talks bout foods yg kite mkn, talks bout guys yg baru lalu dpn mate, n talks bout BAK ( oopss thats me actually)...

tp kan, aku ni agak lemah dlm communicating bile smpai waktu nk argue...argue stakat yg remeh temeh tuh blehla...cth: sape patot menang AF or American Idol...Hehehe... tp bile smpai nk argue bende penting dlm hidop aku, oh sgt susah wooo~~ bile it really matters the most, aku mcm lembu dicocok hidung ( nsb bkn dicucuk punggong )... just go with the flow la kunun...Oh boleh belah la weh...

tp honestly, communicating ini sgt penting tahap kegabanan especially nk mempertahankan hak kite...jgnla smpai kite dilihat lemah hanye kerana xpandai mempertahankan diri..hanye senyap bile ditanya or ditekan... tp 1 thing la kan, aku xmau pendam sgt kekecewaan bile aku xdpt argue dgn baek...takot I MELETUS...oh scary, stakat ni blom lagi dilihat di public...jgn smpai ia terkeluar dr dlm badan I yg besaq neyh...

KebOdoHaN

AKu KEBODOHAN...SANGAT kot...

hah...bile nmpak muke takbersalah die aku rase sgt2 rindu...bodoh tol...dulu kao yg elak dr die bile elok2 berkawan...kenape??? coz u r 2 scared u'll be hurt by something yg really ambiguous at the time...bungux la...

Mungkin betol care Si** di mane die stay as fren with sum1 yg suke die...n to that man, sgt brave of u kot...stay as fren, mane tau nnt2 bole ade can...HUH~~

AhhhHH...MengaPE??

Focus to the future...But the future is unknown la plak kan...Aku seakan-akan menangisi future yg xpasti...sayang, ia terlalu jauh...

ape future aku??? KAWEN??? to tell u all the truth, aku mmg ade angan2 yg oh-so-BIG bout my wedding...the classical baju pengantin, the simplicity of the theme, cutie cupcakes for wedding cakes, n the oh-so-wonderful husband beside me...Tp honestly, aku hanye imagine of that wedding day without a single drop of faith yg the wedding will be ON...Ntah, membujang kot aku smpai ke tua...Huh~~

n then comes my career...mampu ke aku nk bercikgu-cikgi n all...capable ke aku nk membimbing anak bangsa...nk confront others, n get involve with it all...ntahla, sgt2 xmau pk pasal itu...tp i kept mengelak, until when la weh???huish...

n now the fact that I'm being fat...oh-so-basi...low self-esteem...kekurusan menjanjikan kebahagiaan???mungkin lah...tp aku xbersedia...tertekan pon ade...peoples kept saying *nak diet*, they all are *gemok*...wat bout me then???u think I dont want 2 diet???haish~~~oh quoted from nova ye...though i know she means well, but I can't help but TERASA okeh...

Dear Malaysians. Pls dont let ur self get fat n pls dont let ur children get fat too. Its SICKENING. Some people r born with a big build but dey r not fat! U R!

Bikin sakit jiwa tgk org yg tlampau berat sendiri susah m0 jalan.

Scary ni..i duduk2 here tgk org lalu lalang..terimagine wat if dey pengsan n fell on me..ID DIE! Kena pisak!

ah~~aku sedeyh...aku nk ke future, tp d current is still vague...oh how I long for happiness...

giLe JalAn

tahniah...congratulation...

sem break kali neyh aku sgt hebat~~perasan giler~~tp betol la...


dlm 3 minggu cuti neyh, aku cume ade kat umah xsampai seminggu tau x...rase sgt2 berbalo-baloi cuti...

rase cam sayang actually bile xdpt spend time kat rumah byk2, sbb sem lepas aku xbalik kg 2 bulan tau x???bese2 sminggu jek aku dh meluncur laju pulang ke rumah...

tp xpela, skali-skale jek pon...1st arituh aku g trip ngan geng pompuan ke utara...then minggu neyh stat ari ahad smpai kames aku g langkawi (utara gak kot) ngan femili...naek flight lagi...bes2...

penat sgt mase kat sane tp atlis aku enjoy gak la...aku dpt naek kete kabel...takot ok~~~

ermm...sem depan g mane plak?? SELATAN?? TIMUR??? atau g PanTai???

AkU SeOraNg BaKaL bLoGGeR

I am new 2 d world of blogging...

bile aku start blogging ni, rase cam xlame jek...yela...time consuming tau x...dhla tu, I dont have enough life experience 2 write about...my life currently pon not very d interesting 2 b shared 2 d world...xde boypren...xde peminat...xde kawan baek...xde papela senang...so kadang2 if u all notice (adeke 'u all' ni sume) crite dlm blog aku amatlah xmenarik...cite yg sgt ringan2...(ringan laen ek korg)...but 2 tell u d truth...I DONT CARE WHAT U THINK...aku nk wat blog utk diri aku...my own self fullfilment...tp nak gak improve on my writing style...so bile bace ade trase kesan d hati...hehehe

I read lots of blog, just bcoz I love reading...byk gakla yg aku suke n smpai skrg xmiss bace walau diorang xla slalu update...soem od d blogs r [ the bogus circus by Helmi Razali, hilangpunca by pIpIyApOnG, primajohnna owned by d handsomest human being on earth (uweknye), gEEk iN tHe pInK by my TESL senior BungaHafizal, sarah al idrus owner d same name]...sudah2 kalu nk mention mau smpai 1 page pnoh pasal name blog jek....but these r some yg sgt2 aku enjoy n suke...

I read all these blogs pon bkn ape, just bcoz I love reading...sometimes by doing so, I improve my style of writing...aku trikut2 care pnulisan diorg (yela aku new blogger, no identity lg)...sgt suke...n aku prasan ade blogs tuh cam ade trikot2 sgt care pnulisan bloggers laen...aku xsenang sgt la gitu gak...we have 2 find our own identity in writing...as 4 now, I'm still looking, trying n changing...at some point my posts r mostly in English if u notice...I did that coz I wanted 2 write better in English, yela kan aku kan future teacher...English aku sblom ni agak tunggang terlanggang so aku rase blogging is d best way 2 help me writing better in d bahase penjajah...huhuhu...but now, I realize there's no point in membuta-tuli writing in English if I still dont master d beauty of d language...aku xmau saje2 tulis in English smpai in d end, xde nilai estetik nyer d ctu...(wow)

so, as 4 now, korg bertahan ye with my blog yg cam pape ni...I know it takes quite some time 4 my blogs 2 b interesting 2 every1...blog2 yg aku bace pon bkn sesenang jek nk ade pminat...they start from no1 reading their blogs 2 thousands enjoying n commenting in their blog...

tp ake ade 1 identiti...small small identiti yg aku suke...cbe teka...

ps klunyer...die kecik ade 3...

Getting to know me...

Knowing myself 4 bout 21 years made me realized that I'm not all perfect...DUH!!!

I know I am not perfect in d eyes of all but deeeeeep in my heart n mind I still consider myself as kinda flawless...CEH...ala I think every1 pon consider themselves as kinda minda perfect also...ah jgn x ngaku pulak ye...(case in point...if lets say u got in2 fights or misunderstandings with others, u would consider urself as right..right????so don't that suggest that u consider urself right almost most of d time????even d most humblest person in this world would have that slight feelings that u r right instead of others r right...its just that u dont say it out loud...thinking n doing r 2 different things right...)

ntahla...its hard 2 admit that u r wrong when u r used 2 d fact that u r perfect...so, me admitting that I;m not perfect doesn't mean that I will consider myself wrong all d time...I'm just me...

I AM IM...thats 4 me 2 say...NOT U!!!!! U know who u r>......

I an IM

yup...I am Im..Bullshit 'Im' u can say...Wuteva la...

People said that I am very cruel sumtimes..hehehe..true la kot..Like I care what people thinks..1 thing 4 sure, I am pretty much a "hypocrito d amor" (fila's words) ...Why???Coz I pretend a lot la weh....I am bad actually, so, people!!!don't ever think that I am 'BAEK'.....

For now I am a MESS sgt2...my probs at home plus d exams r killing me so bad...camne nk kuar dr MESS ni weh????nk nanges xlarat dh....All d time d probs kept playing (rewind on n on n on) in my mind like film kept playing on d screen...SHit gile... (pardon my language) ..Camne nk get out of this mess???Maybe I should berserah je kt Allah n should b berdoa byk2...But my mind is sooooo not resting that it's a mess up there...HELP!!!

Here is d only place I can tell what I felt as no 1 is judging...Maybe noone is even reading my blog.. well i don't really care pon...coz this is d only place where I can talk bout my probs...you want to judge me pon I DONT CARE!! "SANCTUARY FOR MY CHAOTIC MIND"

I am changing!!!!

aku xpuas hati ngan wordpress!!!!!!!!!!

I'm making a new blog...Damn...many of my memorable posts are going to waste...
WTF!!!xpe2...new journey, new BLOG!!